The Bad Beginning: Or, Orphans! (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 1) Paperback – Unabridged, May 8, 2007 by Lemony Snicket

Description

Author: Snicket Lemony

Brand: Harpercollins

Edition: Reprint

Features:

• HarperTrophy

Format: Unabridged

Package Dimensions: 15x193x122

Number Of Pages: 142

Release Date: 08-05-2007

Details: Product Description
NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Never before has a tale of three likeable and unfortunate children been quite so enchanting, or quite so uproariously unhappy.
Are you made fainthearted by death? Does fire unnerve you? Is a villain something that might crop up in future nightmares of yours? Are you thrilled by nefarious plots? Is cold porridge upsetting to you? Vicious threats? Hooks? Uncomfortable clothing?
It is likely that your answers will reveal A Series of Unfortunate Events to be ill-suited for your personal use. A librarian, bookseller, or acquaintance should be able to suggest books more appropriate for your fragile temperament. But to the rarest of readers we say, “Proceed, but cautiously.”
Review
Praise for A Series of Unfortunate Events: “Hilarious. Luckily for fans, the woes of the Baudelaires are far from over.” —
Publishers Weekly
(starred review)

“Those who enjoy a little poison in their porridge will find it wicked good fun.” —
Kirkus Reviews

“Irrepressible, brave and charming.” —
New York Times Book Review

“With a cast of unforgettable characters, a distinctly literary air, and plenty of laugh-out-loud moments, this is a great match for dark comedy fans.” — Brightly
From the Back Cover

About the Author
Lemony Snicket had an unusual education which may or may not explain his ability to evade capture. He is the author of the 13 volumes in A Series of Unfortunate Events, several picture books including The Dark, and the books collectively titled All The Wrong Questions.

Brett Helquist’s celebrated art has graced books from the charming Bedtime for Bear, which he also wrote, to the New York Times–bestselling A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket to the glorious picture book adaptation of Charles Dickens’s A Christmas Carol. He lives with his family in Brooklyn, New York.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
A Series of Unfortunate Events #1: The Bad Beginning
Or, Orphans!

By Lemony Snicket
HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.
Copyright © 2007
Lemony SnicketAll right reserved.

ISBN: 9780061146305

Chapter One
If you are interested in stories with happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book. In this book, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle. This is because not very many happy things happened in the lives of the three Baudelaire youngsters. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire were intelligent children, and they were charming, and resourceful, and had pleasant facial features, but they were extremely unlucky, and most everything that happened to them was rife with misfortune, misery, and despair. I’m sorry to tell you this, but that is how the story goes.
Their misfortune began one day at Briny Beach. The three Baudelaire children lived with their parents in an enormous mansion at the heart of a dirty and busy city, and occasionally their parents gave them permission to take a rickety trolley-the word “rickety,” you probably know, here means “unsteady” or “likely to collapse”-alone to the seashore, where they would spend the day as a sort of vacation as long as they were home for dinner. This particular morning it was gray and cloudy, which didn’t bother the Baudelaire youngsters one bit. When it was hot and sunny, Briny Beach was crowded with tourists and it was impossible to find a good place to lay one’s blanket. On gray and cloudy days, the Baudelaires had the beach to themselves to do what they liked.
Violet Baudelaire, the eldest, liked to skip rocks. Like most fourteen-year-olds, she was right-handed, so the rocks skipped farther across the murky water when Violet used her right hand than when she used her left. As she skipped rocks, she was looking out